A Life-Sized Cardboard Cut-Out, I Could Understand

Today marked the offical end of my personal leave at The Factory (a department store). When I started it nearly two months ago, I left to the sounds of over-played Christmas carols. It's true that retail ruins classic Christmas songs for people. After hearing a bad version of "Santa Baby" eighteen times in one eight hour shift, you end up hating it.

Needless to say, I was relieved to walk in and realize that the season for Christmas carols was long past, and I could return to listening to Mediocre Adult Contemporary while I worked. You can imagine my dismay when I discovered that the new soundtrack was even worse than not only the Christmas one, but the MAC one they were playing before Christmas. Among such decent but slightly past-trendy songs as Over My Head (Cable Car), Lonely No More, and Chasing Cars were songs such as Father and Daughter by Paul Simon, which contains this gem:

...I'm gonna stand guard, like a postcard of a golden retriever...

Now, I know the song is about a father loving his daughter, and that's very sweet. But... a postcard of a golden retriever? Really? Like, of all the random imagery they could've come up with, a postcard? Of a not-so-threatening dog? I'm not gonna lie. I laughed.